new xanggeerr x]

www.xanga.com/ja3x3nny

^ mebe i'll wit it..mebe not? dERR? xDD

[[[  [ [[ a  n i g h t  t o  r e m e m b e r . . . a l w a y s  x3 ] ]]] ]] ]

 like a river flow

to the sea

some things were meant to be...

wise men say only fools rush in

but i cant help

falling in love with yoo..

 [ [[[ [ [[   unforgettable... x] ] ] ]] ]

DARNED FLASHES!! i don't like cameras dat blind yoo!!! >.<

wow...

30 hour famine wuz yesterday..i have NEVER been more hungyr in my entire life!! its amzing how some people have to go for days without food..scarry actually...

PASSION OF THE CHRIST is sucha good moovie..it makes yoo cry to see Jesus in so much pain..and that probably wuznt half of what he went throo..i cant believe he loved us THAT much that he would go through all that just for us..and even though we killed him..he asked God to forgive us..wOW...it shocked me so much..and its like yoo want evrybody to experience his love..and you wanna live your life so that jesus didnt go throo all that pain in vain..[rhyme skill x]

then after we sung praise songs @ christina's church..and when i realli thought about the lyrics..and its so troo

im forgivn

because you were forsaken

im accepted

you were c o n d e m n e d

im alive and well

your spirit lives within me

because yoo d i e d and r o s e agen..

a m a z i n g  l o v e

how can it be??

that yoo my king wood d i e  f o r  m e?

amazing love

i k n o w  i t s  t r o o

and its my joy to honor yoo

in all i doo..

i honor yoo..

[ God loves yoo so give your all to him x]

+sadies: SEVEN DAYS..puahahah x]+

>>>edit x]

lately...

                                          been thinking bout yoo baby

jus sitting away...

                                                 watching the days go by

>>>end

whats wrong wit me..

scratches head* i derno wuts going .. i feel like deres something weighing me down..and da more i try to ignore it.. da more fake i become..its quite annoying actually..sometimes i look at myself like somebody else mite see me..and i wonder if das realli me..or not?

its funnie how shallow i've become..i guess i alwayz wanted to be the strong person who din let stuff gt to her..who wood bedifferent and not care..who would face everything head on..on her own..but i the more i try 2 be independent and not care...da more dependent i become and da more insecure i feel..ironic..cuz i can tell..and yet nothing seems to change..[ haha yea christinaa..da "talk" got mee thinking...a lot more den i expected ]

mbe im jus remembring awl da regrets...how many times haff i pushed people away deliberately...ive hurt so many pplz..and its too late to say sorry..because those pplz haff obviously mooved on..and made sucha drama queen outta myself..it makes me sad to think of awl da desicions i made...and da consequences that came wit it..dat i didnt handle well..i never wanna deal wit those kinda things...

i dont understand why i try to have fun awl the time..why i try to grab pplz attention..why i need people around me to ensure me that im of some worth..and i dont kno why little things become such big things dat take over and little by little chip away at your happinesss...

sometimes..it amazes me..at how small pplz are..at how small our evryday problems are..compared to evrything..i wish i knew how to have sucha strong faith in God so that i kenw he wuz alway there for me.. to kno that my trials are just ways to make me stronger instead of feeling like punishments..

or maybe im jus a little down .. and need to let out sum steam.. >.<

haha for sum reason..xanger duznt seem as fun as it did before..i think im gonna hold bak on xanger after 40 days ends ...mebe a cuple of entries..derno? mebe aim..but it wuz a bad choice no my part to try to make sucha big commitment i wuznt ready for..i cheated so much during lent..its not even funny.. i need to work a little bit @ a time..and let my frendship and dedication to god grow a little bit with every trial and gift God brings into my life..not try to bulk it awl togethr..and its my own personal journey..and i shoodnt only concentrate on this when my church comes up wth a big plan thing..>.<

speakin of aim/xanger...it wuz funnie..because i didnt go on aim for a loong time..aol sumtimes ..but i only tokked2 like 4? pplz online during dis whole time..i din kno how much keeping in touch online added to a frendship..when i stopped going on aim..my communication wit pplz kinda faltered too.. it wuz awkward..who wooda thought?

i miss the old days..like bak in 6th grade...8th grade.....DANG this is a long entry >.< ahah

gahh its kinda hard to talk to pplz about stuff because evn though yoo kno they care about yoo..nobody can realli understand wut you're feeling inside..or why yoo feel that way..or dey think yoo are looking for sympathy and attention..well w/e ..cuz its not depression or nething like dat...n i haff awesum frends who r alwayz dere..but jus thinking and kinda sitting here i guess...and when yoo thinkin about sum stuff..sometimes i guess yoo feel like crying..

haha yea..its been one of those days..

happie valentine's day!!

xD ok i KNO I KNO alrite?..but its looveee daayyy!! x] andd ive been heccka holding bak..how doo yoo like my xanger? i did it awl by myself..hehe not THAT great..but i mean its alrite considering dat its ME doing it rite? x]

well..ahh ive learned so much in da past weeks..about myself...a lot of stuff happnd that i realli didnt handle in the best way..but its a good thing some of the things happnd..it wuz like a slap in the face..i learned that sometimes God lets us go throo hard times..to show us sumthing important...and that we were created for him and our life was meant to praise him..everything we do iz in his hands...i guess i alwayz knew that in the bak of my head but i never realli thought about it.. i realized that i wasted so much time worrying about this life instead of thinking bout life in heaven with God...raah i guess im kinda shallow  and i need to learn not to care so much about materialistic things..i also need to try to become best frends with God..like build a strong personal relationship with him x] God wants you to tell him how yoo feel..be honest with him..now i need to apply awl dis stuff to to all aspects of my daily life xP

ever since i found out awl this stuff..i've been so happie..everything seems a little easier..even when i dont feel God there with me awl the time..i kno hes dere x]

raah our church iz splitting up which makes mee soo sad...=[ i think im staying in sanjose, but veronica and tiffany are going to milpitas..sherryy duznt kno...and esterr leffftt already..rAaHHH!! im gonna miss yoo guyz..evn tho techinically yoo guyz rnt gonna be that far..gaahh..i remembr wen i first went to this church..i wuz soo stubbornly quiet and i didnt wanna interact wit pplz >.<..den i met tiffanyy and we started tokking..and i found out dat we're both looserrisshh dorks!! lol jpjp!! xDD deen i mett ester, sherry, and veronica!! gahh! good times doode...sie* i kno dis is probably part of God's plan..and we shood trust him cuz its for the bettr..but i still wish we cood stay @ da same place..tomorrows da last day we togetherr siEe*

evrybody give yorr love a hugg and never let go!! x]

sadies countdown  : 21 days winkwink* xDD

goood tiiimmessss xDD

nathan wearing my boots!! lol

lol hes haffing some truble and sherry's shocked!! LOL

tina;s flying!!  me n margie n tina wer playing TAG one tutorial/brunch haha

raahhh i loooveeee chapaghetti!!x]

but i loovee thiis ice cream mORE xDD

x3 will yoo bee my valentine?? x]

hehe pplz sign my guestbook pllzz x]

[EDIT]

THANX SO MUCH AMY!! xDD soo mucch fun!!

but im never going 2 yor house agen..rawrr so much fooodd..i weigh like 20 pounds more now..lol xPP

ALRITEE MEELL FUU IMMMA TAKE DA PIXERS OUTT...BUT ONLY CUZ I LOOVERR YOO! hmph..xPP o well...in case yor wondering..dere use to be bootiful pixers of mel fu doing her dance solo right here but since she requested dat i take them out..fiNnE hMpH! hehe if yall wanna see da pixers jus gimme a holla!! xDD < dont kill mee mel puahahhahahaha >

rawrr x] whos up for shopping on tuesday?